Chapter 10: The Green-nosed Reindeer
By now you probably know Donner, Prancer and all the rest, but you may recall I have not yet delved into the story of the most famous reindeer of all: Randolph.
Not long after his defeat at Reindeer Ridge and the forced peace with Santa Claus, INC Donner was ousted as the leader of the reindeer and Prancer took his place, proving to be just as incompetent of a leader as everyone assumed he would be. He tried to run a tight ship, but ended up with the Titanic
Donner, now free of his responsibility to his family and replaced on Claus’ sleigh team by some young upstart named Bernie, decided to do what he had always wanted to do and move to the South Pole where he met a beautiful young South Pole reindeer named Bernadette.
Donner and Bernadette were happy together and soon Bernadette was with child.
As soon as he was heard the good news Donner nearly leaped through the ceiling of his cave with joy.
“Calm down Donner, or you’ll scare the baby,” Bernadette rebuked Donner as he managed to get his antlers out of the ceiling.
“Sorry, I’m just so excited to have a son to carry on my name.” Donner was grinning from ear to ear with excitement.
“How do you know it’s going to be a boy?” Bernadette asked.
“I just have a feeling.”
Sure enough, Donner was right. Seven and a half months later Bernadette gave birth to a son named Randolph. 
“Isn’t he beautiful?” Bernadette asked Donner who could only stare at Randolph in awe.
“He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Donner grinned from ear to ear with fatherly pride.
Suddenly Randolph’s green nose began to grow bright, filling the cave with green light.
“What the hell is that?” Donner demanded, the proud and adoring grin leaving his face
“I knew we should have moved away from the wand factory. The residual magic was bound to affect us somehow.”
Donner hung his head in disappointment, “I know, but the rent was cheap.”
“Our son is a freak because of you,” Tears started to form in Bernadette’s eyes.
“It’s ok, we’ll just cover up his nose,” Donner reassured his wife as he took some mud with his hoof and molded it into a fake nose which he unceremoniously shoved on his son’s glowing nose. “There: good as new. You can’t even see it glow.”
“Yes, but his nose looks huge and grotesque.”
“It’s just a price we will have to pay.”
Bernadette reluctantly nodded in agreement and nuzzled her newborn son.
Donner’s deception seemed to work well for a while, until one day when Randolph went outside to play games with all the other South Pole Reindeer fawns.
Bernadette was home tidying the house when Randolph burst in crying, with his nose shining oh-so-bright.
“My fake nose fell off while I was playing with the other reindeer and now they’re calling me names like Light-Bulb Face” Randolph cried as Bernadette tried her best to hug him with her hooves.
Donner came home just in time to witness his son bawling like a little girl in his mother’s hooves
“Why are you bawling like a little girl?” He demanded.
“Because all the other reindeer called me names,” Randolph replied, turning away from his mother, his nose glowing brighter than ever.
Donner jumped back in fright, “What happened to your nose?”
“It fell off.”
. Donner hastily scrapped some dirty of the floor of the cave and made another fake nose and stuck it on Randolph’s face to stop it from shining.
“Go to your room. Your mother and I have to discuss this.” Donner commanded sternly, pointing his hooves in the direction of Randolph’s room. Randolph hung his head in shame and sulked off to his room.
“What are we going to do?” Bernadette asked her husband in a quivering voice once Randolph was out of earshot
“I don’t know, but we certainly can’t let poor Randolph join in any more reindeer games.”
“You’re right, but we can’t just keep him locked away in the cave forever.”
Donner made no reply, rubbing his antlers with his hooves as he contemplated what to do next. With reluctance, he came up with a suggestion, “What if we moved to the North Pole?”
“But I thought you hated the North Pole and your family up there?”
“I do, but I want Randolph to live a normal life.”
Bernadette just looked at her husband.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, I think it is the best course of action.”
Bernadette thought for a second before finally saying “Ok,” with a hesitant sigh.
And so, Donner and his family packed up their belongings and moved back to the North Pole where they were met with lukewarm reception by his family, who was still mad at him for abandoning them to the incompetent rule of Prancer.
Prancer had proved so inept at being in charge that only a month after he had taken Donner’s place the reindeer had ousted him as well and put Blitzen, the reindeer who thought there was an actual North Pole, in charge. He proved to be an only slightly better leader than Prancer, but he wasn’t a dick about his status, so they decided to keep him for a while.
“Thank god you’re back,” a disheartened Cupid greeted her brother. “We need you, Donner. Things just haven’t been the same without you. Please come back and lead us. We made a huge mistake by replacing you with Prancer.”
Donner tried to hide a gloating grin, but as he looked at the reindeer village and the ramshackle condition it was in he realized his family truly did need him.
“Ok,” Donner replied simply. Upon hearing Donner’s reply all the reindeer shouted out with glee, except for Blitzen who was rather disappointed. Even the members of Santa Claus, Inc. were happy to hear of Donner’s return as Bernie had proved to be an awful replacement.
With his leadership, firmly reestablished Donner and his family settled in at the North Pole.
All went well for Donner and his family for a few months until one day when Randolph was taking a walk around Reindeer Lake. He could hear a group of young bucks playing on the lake, using their hooves to skate across it. Donner had warned him never to play any reindeer games, but Randolph, like any young reindeer, just wanted to have fun, so he walked over to the edge of the lake.
“Do you mind if I play?” Randolph asked in his nasally voice.
Among the bucks was a little prick by the name of Fireball who was the son of Prancer and Vixen.
“. No, we wouldn’t want Donner’s precious little son falling and hurt himself.” Fireball sneered.
“I’ll be careful,” Randolph pleaded.
“I said no,” Fireball growled (or whatever the reindeer equivalent of a growl is)
“Come on Fireball, just let him play,” Donnie, one of Fireball’s cronies protested.
Fireball looked around at his other cronies and saw them nodding in agreement,” Fireball relented, stomping the ice angrily.
All the other reindeer watched as Randolph tentatively ventured out onto the ice. His hooves were slippery on the ice and he nearly fell, but he managed to keep himself up.
“Just keep going, it will get easier,” Donnie said encouragingly.
Randolph was edging closer to the other Reindeer, still trying to gaining his footing. Seeing the perfect opportunity, a Fireball charged at Randolph, knocking him down and causing his fake nose to fall off and slide across the ice out of his reach.
“What the hell are you doing?” Donnie scolded Fireball as he and the other reindeer helped Randolph up.
They just as quickly dropped Randolph back down as soon as they saw his shiny nose.
“What the hell is that?” Donnie asked shakily
“He’s a freak with a green-glowing nose,” Fireball yelled, half grinning.
“No, I’m not.” Randolph cried.
“Yes you are,” Fireball retorted. “Light-bulb face, Light-bulb face…” He began to chant and soon all the other reindeer joined in even Donnie, who did so reluctantly for he had a secret of his own
“Leave me alone,” Randolph whined as he tried his best to run across the ice. He managed to reach the shore and took off running, tears streaming down his face and freezing into icicles and falling into the snow as he fled.
“Stop, that’s where the abominable snowman lives,” Donnie tried to call after him, but Randolph couldn’t hear him over his own sobbing.
Whiny little Randolph ran away from the bullies as fast as his hooves would take him.
Eventually, Randolph grew tired and he slowed down to a meager march. He trudged through the snow, his resentment growing with each step. “I’ll show them to laugh at me,” he swore to himself.
The wind began to howl and snow came down heavier and heavier as Randolph found himself in the worst blizzard on record. He forced himself onward, his nose lighting the way.
The blistering winds and frozen temperatures finally became too much for Randolph, who was about to collapse. Through half-closed eyes, he saw an ice cave up ahead and sighed with relief as he headed towards it.
“Thank god,” he said to him as he pushed open the door and tiptoed into the cave
“Hello? Is anyone home?” Randolph called out. There was no reply except for the whistling wind.
Randolph cautiously ventured deeper into the cave, “Hello?” he called out again. Once again there was no reply except for the wind outside and his footsteps on the icy floor of the cave.
A sudden cracking sound drew made Randolph look up towards the ceiling to see it was beginning to crack.
“Oh shit,” he muttered just before the roof collapsed, burying him in an avalanche of snow and ice buried him.
Randolph awoke to the warmth of a crackling fire. He tried to stand up, but his legs were weak and he collapsed. His whole body ached and his glowing nose was only a slight glimmer.
“Hello my young reindeer friend,” A boisterous voice bellowed from behind Randolph.
Randolph tried to stand up again, but was still too weak and his wobbly legs couldn’t support him.
“Don’t get up, you need to rest,” the voice said as icy hands draped a blanket over Randolph. “You’re lucky to have survived the avalanche.”
Randolph didn’t bother moving again, but asked, “Who are you?”
“My name is Owen, but you may know me by a different name: The abominable snowman.”
If Randolph had the strength he would have bolted right then for he had heard terrible things about The Abominable Snowman who lived in a cave by himself and ate young reindeer who wandered away from home.
“Please don’t eat me,” Randolph pleaded
Owen let out a hearty chuckle.
“Don’t believe everything you hear,” Owen laughed to himself, “If I wanted to eat you I would have done it already. I’ve only eaten one reindeer and that was because I was about to die of starvation. He was kind of a jerk anyway.”
Randolph considered this for a second before replying, “Thank you for saving me.”
“Not a problem. I’m not such a bad guy once you get to know me. I just happen to prefer my space. What brings you to my cave anyway?” Owen asked.
“I got lost in a blizzard and needed shelter. I didn’t think anyone was here because no one answered me.”
“I was probably sleeping. Why were you out in the middle of a blizzard anyway?”
“I was running away from some bullies who were making fun of my nose.”
“Your nose is somewhat peculiar, but that is no reason to make fun of you.”
Randolph gingerly nodded in agreement.
“I’m somewhat like you, outcast because of my appearance.” Owen stated as he stepped into the light of the fire to reveal himself. Randolph gasped in surprise before catching himself.
“Sorry,” Randolph said apologetically.
“It’s ok. I get that a lot.”
The firelight further illuminated Owen, revealing his full figure: His misshapen head which drooped on one side, his coals eyes with one being twice as big as the other, his spindly arms made of pine tree branches, his gigantic feet that protruded out of the bottom of his body, and lastly his nose which was not a carrot, but a turnip.
“It’s alright if you’re frightened. I’m used to that reaction.”
Randolph gave Owen a sympathetic smile.
“Would you like me to tell you my story? Perhaps it will make you feel better by comparison.”
“Sure,” Randolph nodded, wincing in pain at the motion.
And so, Owen began to tell Randolph his story…
For three frosty days, Owen nursed Randolph back to health as a powerful wind blew outside and snow continued to fall. On the fourth day, Randolph finally felt better and was able to stand securely on his own four hooves
Owen walked into the room just as Randolph was starting to stand. “I’ve cleared all the debris away from the front entrance,” He announced with half-hearted glee.
“I see you are feeling better, “He said as he watched Randolph shakily stroll around the cave. “You will probably be leaving soon,” Owen sighed sadly
“Yes,” Randolph gently replied, “But I will be back to visit.”
“No, you won’t.” Owen stated simply
“Yes, I will.” Randolph insisted.
“No, you won’t.” Owen persisted, “But that’s ok. I enjoyed our short few days together and perhaps one day our paths will cross again.”
Randolph made no reply. He just silently walked towards the cave entrance. He stole one look back and called, “I’ll be back.” Owen shook his head sorrowfully as he watched his new friend leave. 
Randolph arrived home just in time to miss Donner and his siblings leaving for their annual Christmas Eve trip. The reindeer village was dark and deathly quiet and a heavy fog had settled around it.
He burst into his igloo to find his mother sitting quietly by the fire.
“Mother, I’m home,” Randolph shouted, the light from his nose filling the igloo.
“Randolph, I’m so glad you are home!” Bernadette exclaimed as she ran to hug her son.
“Where’s Papa?” Randolph asked.
“It’s Christmas Eve. He and your aunt and uncles are pulling Claus’ sleigh.”
Randolph’s nose glowed even brighter, practically blinding his poor mother.
“Why must we be slaves to the intruders?” Randolph demanded, overcome with a sudden anger
“Because we lost the war to them,” Bernadette said calmly, avoiding the look of fury in his eyes.
“No more!” He shouted, “We must march to free our oppressed relatives.”
Randolph stormed out of his family’s igloo and ran to the center of Reindeer Village, yelling
“Relatives, brothers, sisters, come out of your igloo’s. We must march to free our imprisoned leaders.”
Randolph’s nose cut through the fog illuminating the faces of all the reindeer would had come out of there igloos to see what the commotion was about.
Among them was Fireball, who sneered at Randolph and jeered, “Look, everyone, it’s the red-nose freak reindeer.” There were a few chuckles from the crowd.
“Please, we must rescue our relatives from the slavery inflicted upon them by Santa Claus, Inc,” Randolph pleaded.
“And why should we do that?” Fireball argued.
“Because if we don’t they will make us pull the sleigh next.”
“So, what?” Fireball retorted.
“Let him speak,” Donnie cut in.
“Let him speak,” another voice chimed in and other reindeer began nodding their heads and inclining their ears to Randolph. Fireball tried to resist, but eventually was worn down by angry looks from those around him and slunk into the shadows.
The crowd went silent, looking at Randolph expectantly.
“Just because they defeated us before doesn’t give them the right to treat us like slaves. I say we march up to Claus’ castle and demand a new treaty right now. Who’s with me?”
There was a long pause before all the reindeer let forth cries of fury and agreement. Randolph was emboldened by the support and began to march through the fog towards Claus castle with the other reindeer, including a reluctant Fireball, in tow. His bright green nose lit the way.
While Randolph was marching towards their castle the members of Santa Claus, INC were busy determining how they were going to deliver all the presents that year.
“Its way too foggy out there for us to fly,” Claus said.
“Yes, but we need to deliver those presents tonight or all the kids will be disappointed on Christmas morning,” Ta countered.
“Is there any type of magic you can use to help us?” Ta asked San
“I’m afraid not. Us wizards are trying to conserve our magic of the time spell,” San sighed with defeat.
Ta pounded his chest in frustration. “There must be something we can do?”
At that moment Matilda burst into the room to announce, “The Reindeer are here to see you.”
“The reindeer are down with Jarvis getting hooked up to the sleigh.”
“Not those reindeer,” Matilda replied. She was interrupted by Randolph and his band of protesters pushing past her.
“Who are you?” San asked, looking at Randolph, who appeared to be the leader.
“I am Donner’s son Randolph and I am here to demand you set my father and my aunts and uncles free.”
“Randolph? I’ve heard of you. They say your nose glows, “said Claus. He stared at Randolph’s nose to see that, sure enough, it did light up. As he stared at Randolph’s light-bulb of a nose a light-bulb of his own lit up in his mind.
“Wait a minute. Randolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide our sleigh today?”
Randolph thought about this for a second. “Only if you agree to a new treaty with the reindeer.”
Claus glanced at San and Ta for guidance, but they both shrugged.
“Ok,” he relented. He stepped forward and shook Randolph’s hoof. A chorus of victorious “yippees” sounded from the gathered reindeer.
And so, a new deal was struck between the Reindeer and Santa Claus, Inc and Randolph went down in Reindeer history.
 Robert Lewis May may have changed the story slightly when he turned it into a children’s book. Not only did he change Randolph’s name to Rudolph, but he also changed the color of his nose from green to red. No one quite knows why he made these changes.
 He was going to be named Donner Jr, but that name was already taken by Donner and Vixen’s illegitimate son. This son was dead at the time, but Donner didn’t know that as he had not seen Vixen or their son in years. He did send money though.
 They would have called him Pinocchio, but he wouldn’t be created by Geppetto for a few hundred years. In fact, Geppetto had applied to be a toymaker for Santa Claus, INC but had been turned down. When magic brought Pinocchio to live he tried to sell him to Santa Claus, INC, but he was turned down once again.
 He was exiled to the West Pole, the fabled most western place on Earth, which wasn’t actually real, but just a way to get rid of Prancer.
 Which shall not be divulged, mostly because it is not relevant at all. I really just wanted to say it.
 Of course, they only started the record after Santa Claus Inc moved up to the North Pole so it was only a few years old.
 Unbeknownst to Owen, or Prancer’s family, that reindeer was actually Prancer, who had wandered into Owen’s cave on his way to the West Pole.
 Owen’s story will be relayed in Chapter 10, but for now, we will continue to focus on Randolph
 Unfortunately, Owen proved to be right and Randolph never did come visit him. Although they did see each other again, and it was decidedly awkward.