My Arrested Development Screenplay Part 9

 

And now the continuing story of my attempt to write an Arrested Development movie.

Previous Parts

Part 1

Part 2

:Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

Part 8

 

INT. BARRY’S OFFICE – DAY

The rest of the family is sitting in Barry’s office. Barry’s assistant, GARY, enters.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Meanwhile, at Barry’s office…

 

Barry’s Assistant approaches Barry’s Desk.

GARY

Hey pookie.

BARRY

Oh, hey buttermuffin.

They kiss, everyone else looks uncomfortable. Gary exits.

BARRY (CONT’D)

Isn’t he great?

 

Everyone continues to look confused.

 

GOB

Um…

BARRY

Oh yes, he’s my husband.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Yes he was, after being fired by Michael, Barry finally came out the closet and reunited with his assistant: Gary. Soon after they got married

INSERT- PHOTO OF BARRY AND GARY’S WEDDING, THE GAY MAN WITH THE FREEDOM SIGN IS GARY’S BEST MAN AND ONE OF THE HOT COPS IS THE PRIEST

BACK TO SCENE

BARRY

Isn’t anyone going to congratulate me?

GEORGE SENIOR

(uncomfortable)

Oh yes, congrats.

Gary enters.

BARRY

Gary what are you doing back in here so soon?

GARY

Oh, I’m not Gary.

 

Gary tears of a latex face mask to reveal he is JEAN PARMESAN, the family’s former P.I.

JEAN

Jean Parmesan, how you doing? Don’t worry Gary’s safe in the broom closet.

BARRY

So did I just kiss you?

JEAN

You most certainly did.

 

Jean winks at Barry

GOB

Jean, what are you doing here?

JEAN

(taking a picture out of his coat)

Before Lucille died she contacted me from prison and asked me to look into possible grandkids she might have.

GOB

Wait, what?

JEAN

Apparently, your mother wanted to meet her unknown grandkids before she died.

GOB

That doesn’t sound like her.

JEAN

Yeah, I know. Anyways, I found something that you might be interested in.

He hands Gob the picture he has been holding in his hand. It is revealed to be a picture of Mary.

GOB

This looks like a chick I did in high school… Oh.

JEAN

That’s right, this is your daughter, Mary

Gob looks shocked.

JEAN (CONT’D)

Well, Lucille was going to pay me $500 for this information before she died so if you could just…

GEORGE SENIOR

(handing Jean a wad of bills)

Here you go Jean.

 

JEAN

Thanks, I’m not even going to count it.

 

Jean exits

BARRY

Where were we?

 

JEAN re-enters

JEAN

I counted, there’s only $400 here. Now where’s…

 

Lindsay uses her foot to slam the door in Jean’s face

DISSOLVE TO:

 INT. – OUTSIDE BARRY’S OFFICE-

Jean is leaving through the hallway when he runs into ICE.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

A disgruntled Jean was leaving Barry’s office when he ran into ICE.

JEAN

(to ICE)

Hey, aren’t you the bounty hunter Ice?

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Indeed it was ICE. Currently, he was working for the government, trying to find evidence against suspected bank robber Susie Carlon. He had catered Lucille’s funeral partly to try and gather evidence against her.

ICE

Where’s Susie Carlon?

JEAN

Who?

ICE

Lucille Bluth’s sister.

JEAN

Oh, down the hall to the left.

ICE

Thanks.

 

Ice hears noises from a nearby closet. He opens the door and a bound and gagged Gary stumbles out.

ICE (CONT’D)

Well, that was a freebie.

CUT TO:

 INT. – BARRY’S OFFICE

Everyone is still sitting down, Barry is about ready to start Reading the will when Ice bursts through the door.

ICE

Susie Carlon, you’re under arrest.

He handcuffs her and starts to drag her away.

LARRY

Mama, No!

The family begins to follow ICE and Susie out of Barry’s office.

BARRY

Don’t worry I know a good lawyer who can get you off.

GOB

You mean yourself, Barry?

BARRY

I was going to say Wayne, but I guess I could do it.

DISSOLVE TO:

 INT. – BLUTH MODEL HOME

Michael ENTERS through the front door, looking for Tobias.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Meanwhile Michael had returned to the Model Home to look for Tobias.

MICHAEL

Tobias?

He looks around the Model Home until he comes upon the secret room. He enters to see Tobias, with his back turned to him looking a stack of magazines.

 

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

 Tobias?

 

There is the sound of magazine pages ruffling and the sound of zipper zipping as Tobias turns around quickly, looking guilty.

TOBIAS

Oh hey, Michael, I was just body building.

MICHAEL

Ok…?

 

Michael and Tobias stare at each other in silence.Michael’s phone rings.

MICHAEL

(answering his phone.)

Hello? What?  Ok I’ll be right there.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Apparently my aunt has been arrested I have to go down to the police station.

Michael starts to leave.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

(turning around to notice Tobias isn’t coming)

Are you coming with me?

TOBIAS

I think I’ll stay here and do some more body building.

MICHAEL

Really?

TOBIAS

I guess you’re right.

Michael and Tobias exit.

DISSOLVE TO:

 

 

To Be Continued…

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My Arrested Development Screenplay Part 8

And now the continuing story of my attempt to write an arrested development movie.

Previous Parts

Part 1

Part 2

:Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 7

INT. – PENTHOUSE-LIVING ROOM

 

George Michael is sitting on the coach by himself. MAEBY FUNKE, his cousin comes over and sits by him.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Elsewhere George Michael was reconnecting with his cousin Maeby.

MAEBY

Hey George Michael.

GEORGE MICHAEL

Oh, hey Maeby.

CLOSE UP: MAEBY

FREEZE FRAME ON MAEBY

NARRATOR (V.O.)

This is George Michael’s cousin, Maeby.

SUPER: MAE “MAEBY” FUNKE: MOVIE EXECUTIVE

GEORGE MICHAEL

I didn’t see you last night.

MAEBY

Yeah, I was busy with other things.

 

NARRATOR(VO)

          She was actually working as an executive at Tantamount Studios.

Cut to:

INT. OFFICE-DAY

Maeby is sitting in her office reading over a stack of scripts. She’s currently reading “Dodgeball 2: Dodge Harder or Dodgeball 2: Revenge of the Dodge”

 

MAEBY

                             Nope

 

Maeby puts down the script and stamps a giant “No” on it

 

     Cut back to:

INT. PENTHOUSE-CONTINUOUS

MARY: a cute 19 yr. old blond enters from the living room and sits down by George Michael who appears uncomfortable. Maeby looks annoyed.

MARY

     Hi.

 

GEORGE MICHAEL

                        Hi.

MARY

              I’m Mary

 

GEORGE MICHAEL

I’m George Michael and this is my cousin Maeby.

 

MARY

(to Maeby)

Nice to meet you.

MAEBY

Yeah, whatever.

 

George Michael and Mary smile at each other, ignoring Maeby.

MAEBY

I’m going to get some punch. Do you want some

George Michael?

GEORGE MICHAEL

No thanks.

 

An irritated Maeby walks off

Cut to:

INT. PENTHOUSE-CONTINUOUS

Maeby continues to the punch bowl, past Michael.

MICHAEL

Hey Maeby

MAEBY

Oh hey Uncle Michael.

 

MICHAEL

Have you seen George Michael?

MAEBY

He was talking to some girl over there.

 

Maeby points in the direction she just came from.

MICHAEL

Who?

MAEBY

I don’t know, Mary Somebody.

 

MICHAEL

                   Where?

MAEBY

(pointing again)

Over there

 

They look towards where George Michael was earlier, but he and Mary are both gone.

 

MAEBY

They must have left

MICHAEL

Well, we have to go find him.

MAEBY

I totally agree; we have to go find him.

 

Michael and Maeby exit.

DISSOLVE TO:

 

INT. BARRY’S OFFICE

BARRY is sitting at his desk with the will in hand. The family is sitting in chairs facing him.

SUPER: LATER

NARRATOR (V.O.)

While Michael and Maeby went off in search of George Michael the rest of the family had gathered to hear the will read by the newly-rehired family attorney Barry Zuckercorn.

GEORGE SENIOR

(whispering to Gob)

Where’s Michael?

GOB

I don’t know, where’s Maeby and George Michael?

GOB (CONT’D)

(to Lindsay)

Where’s Maeby?

LINDSAY

Who?

CARL

Your daughter.

LINDSAY

Oh her, I don’t know.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

At that very moment Lindsay’s daughter Maeby was with her uncle Michael looking for her cousin George Michael.

CUT TO:

 EXT. BANANA STAND-DAY

Mary and George Michael are sitting at a table in front of the condemned banana stand talking. Michael and Maeby ENTER.

MICHAEL

George Michael?

GEORGE MICHAEL

Dad? what are you doing here?

MICHAEL

(pointing to Mary)

Who’s this?

GEORGE MICHAEL

Oh, this is Mary.’

 

Mary waves at Michael

MICHAEL

Yeah, nice to meet.  George Michael, we’ve been looking all over for you. You shouldn’t have run off like that.

GEORGE MICHAEL

Sorry. I just needed some fresh air.

MICHAEL

 We have to go, they’re about to read your Gangi’s will.

 

A disappointed George Michael stands up

MARY

See you later George Michael.

‘Michael, George Michael and Maeby start to leave.

Michael’s phone rings.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Hello?

INTERCUT WITH:

BARRY’S OFFICE-DAY

 

GEORGE SENIOR

(on the phone.)

Michael, where are you? They’re reading the will.

MICHAEL

I was looking for… Tobias. I thought he should be there for the reading of the will.

GEORGE SENIOR

Are Maeby and George Michael with you?

MICHAEL

Yes.

GEORGE SENIOR

Well get down to Barry’s office soon.

MICHAEL

Ok, I’ll be there.

MICHAEL HANGS UP

END INTERCUT

 EXT. BANANA STAND — DAY- CONTINOUS

MICHAEL

(to George Michael and Maeby)

Why don’t you 2 go ahead and head over to Barry’s office I have to go get Tobias.

To Be Continued…

As always thanks for reading and any and all comments are welcome and appreciated. Stay Tuned for Part 9

Some Book to Film Adaptions I would like to see

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog. I just recently finished the book series A Song of Fire and Ice(or at least I’ve finished the books that have been released so far) by George RR Martin which as you probably know has been adapted into the wildly popular HBO series Game of Thrones, but Game of Thrones success has got me thinking of a few other books I would like to see adapted either into film or perhaps a tv series. Without further ado, and in no particular order, here is my list.

Artemis Fowl:

 Brief Synopsis: A Twelve year old criminal masterminds finds out that fairies are real and sets out to rob them of their gold

My Pitch:  I loved this series when I was a kid, It was my Harry Potter and I think it is ripe for a film adaptation with some great characters and a healthy mix of comedy and fantasy . There has been rumors of a movie, but nothing concrete has materialized and I would really like to see that change. With 8 books in the series a franchise would be easy to do.

Dream Casting: I haven’t given the main characters too much thought, but for LEPRecon Chief Julius Root I would like to see JK Simmons as I envision the characters somewhat like J Jonah Jameson from the original Spiderman movie trilogy

Pendragon

Brief Synopsis: Bobby Pendragon discovers he is a Traveler, a group of warriors who must protect the 10 territories(or worlds) from the evil Saint Dane.

My Pitch: Another series I enjoyed when I was a kid, with 10 books in the series I can see the potential for a massive franchise with one movies per each movie or even multiple movies for each book like other young adult franchises. I also wouldn’t mind seeing them go the Game of Thrones route and doing a tv series with each season covering one or multiple books.

Dream Casting: I think Jason Isaacs(who played the villainous Lucious Malfoy in Harry Potter) would make a perfect choice for the villain of the series: Saint Dane.

The Bartimaeus Trilogy:

Synopsis: The Bartimaeus Trilogy follows Bartimaeus, a djinni, or spirit who is summoned by a young magician in an alternate version of London where spirits used for war.

My Pitch: Another favorite from my youth. Like Artemis Fowl it manages to blend humor and fantasy, just in a different way. The footnote narration may prove difficult to convey in movie form, but I think the films could do well with or without. There could be at least three movies with a possible fourth to adapt the prequel book

Dream Casting: I haven’t given this too much thought, but I do think Ron Perlman might make a decent Bartimaeus

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

Brief Synopsis: Earthling Arthur Dent is thrust off on a galactic adventure after the Earth is destroyed to make way for a subspace freeway

My Pitch:  This one is kind of a cheat as Hitchhiker’s guide has already by adapted into a film, but I would really like to see an adaptation by Edgar Wright(Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, Scott Pilgrim) as I feel like he could do the book justice. He wouldn’t even necessarily have to reboot the series by redoing Hitchhiker’s Guide, he could just adapt the second book in the series Restaurant at the End of the Universe

Dream Casting: As much as I liked Martin Freeman’s portrayal of Arthur Dent in the original adaptation I think frequent Wright collaborator Simon Pegg would fit the role quite nicely. I like Sam Rockwell and wouldn’t mind seeing him return as a more faithful adaption of Zaphod Beeblebrox(give him two heads for the entire movie this time). Alan Rickman made a perfect Marvin the robot, but I think Peter Serafinowicz who make an adequate replacement.

 

Those are some of the books I would like to see adapted into movies. What do you think of my choices and what are some of yours?

 

Latest Comedy Video:

At the end of May I went on my first Comedy tour through Wyoming, Montana, and South Dakota. It was exciting and a pretty fun experience overall and I wouldn’t mind doing it again. Unfortunately I didn’t get any video from the trip, but  here’s a video of my first set back in Missoula, Montana after the tour

 

Currently:

Watching(TV):  Married(Season 2)

Playing: Super Star Wars(PS4)

Reading(Books): Salmon of a Doubt by Douglas Adams

Writing: Mostly comedy

 

That does if for me. As always thanks for reading and any and all comments are welcome and appreciated.

 

 

 

 

 

My Arrested Development Screenplay Part 7

And now the continuing story of my attempt to write an Arrested Development movie…

Previous Parts:

Part 1

Part 2

:Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

 

INT. – PENTHOUSE- DINING ROOM – DAY

SUPER: A FEW MINUTES LATER

Gob and Steve are sitting at the dining room table. A slim, attractive KITTY, wearing a red dress, enters

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Later, Gob was teaching his son about women.

GOB

(to Steve)

Watch this.

Gob walks towards kitty.

GOB (CONT’D)

Hey Kitty.

KITTY

(disinterested)

Oh hey Gob.

GOB

(staring at Kitty’s cleavage)

Nice cans. Have they always been that big?

KITTY

Oh, you pig!

Kitty slaps Gob. She walks away then turns around. As she turns around she pulls down the front of her dress to reveal her breasts

KITTY (CONT’D)

Oh and say good-bye to these!

GOB

(yelling, to Kitty as she walks away.)

Hey I was giving you a compliment, come on!

EVE HOLT ENTERS she approaches Gob and slaps him.

GOB (CONT’D)

What the hell was that!

EVE

I want my son back.

GOB

What son?

EVE

Steve. Don’t you remember?

GOB

No.

STEVE

Momma what are you doing here?

EVE

I’m here to get you away this bad influence.

STEVE

But mom I love dad. I don’t want to leave.

GOB

I love you too son.

They hug. Eve grabs Steve’s ear and starts to pulls him away.

EVE

You’re coming with me. Now!

GOB

Wait, you can’t take him.

EVE

Really? What are you going to do about it?

GOB

Umm

EVE

That’s what I thought. Come on Steve.

 

STEVE

(deflated)

Ok mom.

Steve and Eve leave. GOB’S WIFE ENTERS and approaches Gob.

GOB’S WIFE

Remember me?

GOB

No I don’t, Should I?

GOB’S WIFE

Yes, I’m your wife.

GOB

My wife?

GOB’S WIFE

Yes. And I want a divorce.

She slaps Gob.

GOB

(holding his cheek)

What was that for?

GOB’S WIFE

For not remembering me.

Gob’s wife exits.

GOB

Oh Come on, I can’t remember every wife I’ve had.

 

INT. – PENTHOUSE-LIVING ROOM

Michael is getting punch when he runs into JIM AND CAROL MILLER: his dead wife’s parents..

NARRATOR (V.O.)

At the punch bowl Michael also ran into some familiar faces.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

Jim? Carol? What are you two doing here?

JIM

(grumbling)

Hello Michael.

CAROL

We came to pay our respects.

MICHAEL

Really? You didn’t have to do that.

CAROL

We thought it was the right thing to do.

George Michael enters and starts to get some punch.

MICHAEL

(beckoning George Michael over)

George Michael, come here. You remember your other grandparents, don’t you?

GEORGE MICHAEL

Yeah I think I do. Hello.

JIM

(mumbling)

You killed my daughter.

MICHAEL

What?

 

INT. PENTHOUSE-DINING ROOM

SUPER: A FEW SECONDS LATER

Jim has Michael on the punch table and is choking him. Carol is trying to stop him and George Michael looks a little shocked.

JIM

(yelling)

You killed my daughter!

CAROL

(trying to pry Jim off Michael)

Jim stop it, stop it Jim.

MICHAEL

(weakly)

The doctors said she only a 25% chance of living, I had to pull the plug.

JIM

(sadness in his voice)

You should have saved her!

MICHAEL

There was nothing I could do.

JIM

Yes there was.

Ice rushes in from the kitchen to break up the skirmish as guests and the rest of the Bluth family gravitate towards the scene. He manages to pry Jim from Michael.

ICE

(to Jim)

I think it’s best you leave.

JIM

Ok.

Jim and Carol leave. The crowd disperses except for the Bluths

GOB

(coming over to see if Michael’s alright)

What was that about?

MICHAEL

I guess Jim still thinks I killed his daughter

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. – PENTHOUSE-KITCHEN

Buster is standing in the buffet line in the kitchen when LUCILLE AUSTERO and STAN SITWELL enter.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Like his brothers Michael and Gob, Buster ran into a former girlfriend.

LUCILLE 2

Hello Buster.

BUSTER

Oh hey Lucille 2, Mr. Sitwell.

STAN

Hey son, sorry to hear about your mother.

Stan pats Buster on the shoulder.

LUCILLE 2

 We just got married

She shows Buster her ring and she and Stan share a smile.

BUSTER

(starting to freak out)

Oh really, congratulations.

LUCILLE 2

Buster, are you sure you’re ok?

BUSTER

Yes of course.

LUCILLE 2

Are you sure?

BUSTER

(to Stan)

So first you steal my family’s business, now you steal my woman.

STAN

What did you say?

BUSTER

You heard me.

STAN

Look Buster…

BUSTER

Aaah!

BUSTER ATTACKS STAN

LUCILLE 2

Buster, stop it.

BUSTER

She’s my women!

Buster gets off Stan with an eyebrow in his mouth which he spits out.

LUCILLE 2

Look Buster, Stan and I are married now, if you can’t deal with it maybe we should just leave.

LUCILLE 2 and STAN exit. Kitty enters

KITTY

That was rough.

BUSTER

Hey, former Bluth Company Secretary

KITTY

Hey Buster.

BUSTER

(noticing how attractive Kitty is)

Oh my god, you look beautiful.

KITTY

(flirty)

You really think so.

BUSTER

Yes.

Buster and Kitty approach each other slowly, looking into each other’s eyes. Buster and Kitty both remove their glasses and set them down. Buster grabs Kitty and they begin to passionately kiss, but awkwardly. They move into the pantry where Buster closes the door behind them. George Senior enters the kitchen and opens the pantry to get something.

GEORGE SENIOR

(shocked)

Buster?!

Buster and Kitty stop kissing.

BUSTER

(startled by George Senior)

Dad?!

KITTY

Sorry George.

Oscar, who had heard Buster’s “Dad?!” pops his head in.

OSCAR

Yes?

GEORGE SENIOR

 He was talking to me.

OSCAR

(stumbling over his words)

Oh… Yeah… I got confused.

GEORGE SENIOR

Confused? What are you, high?

OSCAR

Now that you mention it, does anyone have any weed?

Stan Sitwell who had overheard the conversation pokes his head in.

STAN

I do.

Everyone gives Stan a confused look.

STAN (CONT’D)

Oh, it’s medicinal.

GEORGE SENIOR

(sarcastic)

I’m sure it is. Damn Hippies

 

To Be Continued…

My Arrested Development Screenplay Part 6

Hi guys, sorry I haven’t been very active in the last couple months.. I’m going to try and do a proper blog post  soon, but in the meantime I thought  I would continue posting parts of my arrested development screenplay. it’s been a little bit since the last post, so be sure to check out the previous parts

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

 

INT. BLUTH MODEL HOME – DAY

SUPER: THE NEXT DAY

Michael, George Michael, and George Senior, all dressed in suits and ties are getting ready for Lucille’s funeral. Tobias is in sitting in the living room.

MICHAEL

(To Tobias)

You’re not coming to the funeral?

TOBIAS

No. I can’t face Lindsay.

MICHAEL

Are you sure?

TOBIAS

Yes. Now get going.

MICHAEL

  (as he, George Michael and George Senior are about to step out the door.)

Ok. Good-bye Tobias.

TOBIAS

Good-bye.

A look of remembrance appears on Tobias’ face as he remembers something and he rushes to intercept Michael before he leaves.

TOBIAS (CONT’D)

Wait!

Michael, George Michael and George Senior stop in the doorway. Tobias runs up to them.

TOBIAS (CONT’D)

What about the money you promised me?

MICHAEL

What money?

TOBIAS

The money in the Banana Stand.

MICHAEL

Oh yes, that money. First of all I didn’t promise you that money, secondly we’ll talk about it when I get back.

TOBIAS

Ok.

Tobias sulks back into the house as Charlie Brown music plays.

Dissolve To:

EXT. CEMETERY- -DAY

It is Lucille’s funeral. The Bluth family along with relatives and friends are sitting around Lucille casket while PASTOR VEAL, delivers the sermon.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Everyone had gathered to remember the life of Lucille Bluth.

PASTOR VEAL

Dear friends and family we are gathered here today to honor the life of Lucille Bluth…

SUSIE

Oh, get on with it!

PASTOR VEAL

Ok, would anyone like to say a few words?

MICHAEL

If you don’t mind I will.

PASTOR VEAL

Ok.

Michael stands up and walks over to the head of the coffin

MICHAEL

My mother was a great women and mother and I’m sure she loved all her children equally…

NARRATOR (V.O.)

That last statement was not so true.

EXT. PENTHOUSE – DAY

Lucille and Buster are sitting outside on the balcony of the Penthouse.

SUPER: A FEW YEARS EARLIER

LUCILLE

I don’t care much for Gob.

EXT. CEMETERY- CONTINUOUS

MICHAEL

…I love my mother and may she forever rest in peace.

Michael walks back to his seat and sits down

PASTOR VEAL

Would anyone else like to say a few words?

Gob stands up.

GOB

I do.

Gob stands at the head of the coffin.

 

GOB (CONT’D)

I would like to make an announcement. Due to the lack of my mother’s body I will be buried in her place and in 3 days I will rise from the grave in the greatest magic trick ever.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Diehard fans will remember that Gob tried a similar trick once before when his father was thought dead.

INSERT- STOCK- THE COFFIN FALLING ON GOB FROM “GOOD GRIEF!”

PASTOR VEAL

You do realize we have her body.

GOB

Oh really?

Opens Lucille’s coffin to reveal her decomposing body

GOB (CONT’D)

Gaahh!

Gob jumps back in surprise.

GEORGE SENIOR

(whispering to Michael)

Get that clown away from her coffin.

BUSTER

Aahh!

Buster tackles Gob.

BUSTER (CONT’D)

(yelling and punching GOB)

Stay away from mother!

George Senior rushes towards them and breaks up the fight.

GEORGE SENIOR

Stop it! Stop the fighting.

GOB

(pointing to Buster)

He started it.

INT.PENTHOUSE-DAY

Guests have gathered in the penthouse for the reception. The Bluths are sitting in the living room with guests spread out around them. ICE, the caterer is in the kitchen preparing smoothies

NARRATOR (V.O.)

Everyone had gathered for the reception, catered by ICE.

Through the front door enters JACK DORSO, Michael’s paraplegic “uncle” and his helper DRAGON who is carrying Jack.

Jack DORSO

(yelling, to Dragon)

To the Buffet!

Jack Dorso and Dragon exit towards the kitchen. At the same time SALLY SITWELL and WAYNE JARVIS ENTER through the front door

SALLY

Hi Michael, I’m sorry to hear about your mother.

WAYNE

Yes, so sorry about your mother.

MICHAEL

Thank you Sally. Hi Wayne.

 

                             WAYNE

          Sorry about your mother.

                  MICHAEL

                   Have you met Sally?

SALLY

(snuggling up to Wayne)

Actually Michael, Wayne and I are engaged.

She holds up her hand to show off her engagement ring. Wayne stands by, emotionless

MICHAEL

Really? I wasn’t even aware you even knew each other.

SALLY

Well Wayne bought me at a bachelorette auction a year ago.

LINDSAY

Really? That’s how you met each other?

WAYNE

It was for a good cause.

SALLY

I thought it was just to reseed the greens at the country club?

MICHAEL

(obviously uncomfortable)

Well, I’m happy for you. I wish you the best of luck.

SALLY

Really? I mean given our past…

MICHAEL

(a little bit nervous)

Of course, I mean we’ve been over for awhile. I wish you both good luck.

SALLY

Thank you Michael. Sorry again about your mother.

WAYNE

Yeah, we’re terribly sorry about your mother.

Wayne and Sally exit. Michael sits by, partly stunned

GOB

(to Michael)

What was that?

MICHAEL

What was what?

GOB

Wayne steals your women and you’re just going to stand by a let it happen.

MICHAEL

First of all she not my women, and second there is nothing I can do.

Gob stands up.

GOB

I think you’re scared, you’re just a chicken.

MICHAEL

Oh please, don’t do the dance.

Gob starts to do his chicken dance.

GOB

Co ca co ca Ö

George Senior and Lindsay start in, both doing there chicken dances

LINDSAY

Cha chee Cha…

GEORGE SENIOR

Coo coo ca cha…

BUSTER

Oh, Michael’s a chicken.

Buster starts his chicken dance. He bobs his head back and forth, flapping his arms.

BUSTER (CONT’D)

Cock ca cha cock ca cha

MICHAEL

Honestly, has anyone in this family actually seen a chicken?

 

To Be Continued…

Movie Review: Logan(Warning Spoilers)

After 17 years Hugh Jackman is finally hanging up the metal claws with the movie Logan, which in my opinion serves as a worthy send-off for Hugh Jackman, the Wolverine character, and perhaps even the x-men franchise as a whole.

Although it has some flaws such as weak villains and an underwhelming death for Professor X, the most important character in the X-men movie franchise after Wolverine, Logan still manages to create a nice swan song for Jackman as Wolverine. In fact I hope they leave the character dormant for a while after this because Logan does such a good job of putting the character to rest(both literally and figuratively)

Logan shows us a Wolverine unlike anything we’ve seen in any of the other X-men movies and I think that’s a good thing. The grizzled Wolverine who has been beaten down by time and regret allowed Jackman to show more of a range than in any other X-men movie and I think that’s what superhero movies in general needs going forward. They need characters you care about and not just spectacle. It’s good when you can have both, but after 17 years of Wolverine it was nice to see him not just fighting another all-powerful villain, but actually facing his own demons and mortality.

That being said I was a little underwhelmed but the antagonists in this movie. Dr. Zander Rice(Richard E. Grant) wasn’t given much to do besides act menacing and his lap dog Donald Pierce(Boyd Holbrook) seemed cool at first, but ultimately didn’t add much to the film.

X-24, a cybernetic clone of Wolverine, did manage to bring the spectacle to some otherwise dull action scene and the battle between him and Logan was a nice metaphor for Logan’s struggle against himself, but in terms of personality he was lacking. Perhaps if he had been handled better in early movies Sabretooth could have provided a nice foil for Logan, but I’m glad they didn’t choose to muddy the rivalry between the two even more.

But, ultimately, Logan is not about Wolverine fighting external forces, but internal forces, one in particular being his failing healing factor and his ongoing sense of duty which leads him into the main conflict of the film which is rescuing his daughter/clone.

Laura(Dafne Keen) makes for a good addition to the cast and I can see the potential for her to be explored in future movies. Her chemistry with both Logan and Professor X really ties the whole film together and I think the decision to focus on the relationship between those three really works. Together they all have good chemistry and while Logan gets the most of the spotlight Laura and Charles both get their chances to shine.

I have a feeling this could also be a farewell to Patrick Stewart as Professor Xavier and if that is the case for the most part I’m satisfied with it, although I felt his death could have had more impact. The exploration of his guilt over killing his X-men was cut a little short and to be honest I thought his being stabbed was a dream sequence at first.

Despite its flaws the chemistry between the three main leads make the film work and a wolverine character that is different from all his other appearances makes it stand-out among all the X-men franchise.

Logan is also only the second film in the X-men franchise to get an R-rating and like Deadpool I feel like it makes good use of it to show us the brutality that comes along with the wolverine character and even Laura. The use of the word “Fuck” was a little uneven in terms of effectiveness, but added to the grizzled nature Wolverine.

Overall, although it has some flaws, I enjoyed Logan and for me it ranks as probably the top Wolverine movie and one of the top X-men movies overall and a great send-off for a character and actor who have been synonymous with the X-men brand for close to two decades.

Final Score: 2.25(great with some flaws)

An explanation of my rating system: I have decided to be a little different and rate my review material on a 0-3 scale in .5 integrals. So for example 0 is absolutely awful, .5 is atrocious 1 is sub par 1.5 is mediocre 2 is great, 2.5 is near perfect and 3 is obviously perfect.  I don’t plan on giving to many 0s or 3 unless the review subject is truly worthy of them.

 

My Arrested Development Screenplay: part 5

Hello everyone and welcome back to the ongoing story of the greatest show ever and the one script I wrote for the movie adaption

INT. BLUTH MODEL HOME-FRONT ENTRANCE — NIGHT

Michael, George Michael, and George Michael enter the Model Home and Michael throws on the lights and looks around

MICHAEL

This place looks pretty abandoned

Michael is cut off as we hear a yell and a grungy figure charges down from the stairs and tackles Michael.

The figure gets up from on top of Michael and in the light we see that it is the grungy, slight chubby Tobias we had seen earlier.

TOBIAS

Michael?

MICHAEL

Tobias? Is that you?

GEORGE SENIOR

Tobias?

TOBIAS

 It is I.

CLOSE-UP: TOBIAS

FREEZE FRAME ON TOBIAS

NARRATOR (V.O.)

This is Michael’s former brother-in-law Tobias.

SUPER: TOBIAS FUNKE: “ACTOR”/ANALRAPIST

MICHAEL

What are you doing here?

TOBIAS

I live here Michael. I had to go somewhere after my wife left me.

NARRATOR (V.O.)

After Lindsay left him, Tobias was left without a home He had briefly been living on the set of the Television show “Wrench” about the rule-abiding detective Frank Wrench before moving into the Bluth Model Home.

CUT TO:

 INT. BEDROOM OF WRENCH TELEVISION SET — DAY

We see Tobias climbing into the bed, pulling the covers over him.

TOBIAS

(yawning)

I guess I better take a nap.

Tobias lies in bed and falls asleep.

CUT TO:

 INT. BEDROOM OF WRENCH SET — DAY

SUPER: 2 HOURS LATER

We see a lump in the bed that is Tobias sleeping. Outside the door to the bedroom we hear the voices of MOSES TAYLOR, the actor portraying Frank Wrench, star of Wrench and a FEMALE VOICE.

FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)

Oh Frank, I want you bad.

MOSES TAYLOR (O.S.)

You’ve got me babe.

The door is opened as Moses Taylor and the actress, now kissing, enter and headed towards the bed. The actress lies on the bed, lying on top of Tobias who lets out a surprised noise.

ACTRESS

What was that?

Moses Taylor and the actress get up from the bed and take the covers off to reveal Tobias, who is now awake.

ACTRESS (CONT’D)

What the hell is this?

TOBIAS

Let me explain.

From her pocket the actress pulls out a can of pepper spray and sprays Tobias in the face.

ACTRESS

Pervert!

TOBIAS

Aah!

CUT BACK TO:

 INT. MODEL HOME — NIGHT- CONTINUOUS WITH SCENE 39

TOBIAS

Yeah, I’ve been living in the attic.

MICHAEL

You’ve been living in the attic?

TOBIAS

Yeah, I’ve got a little mini-fridge up there and a small television. It’s nice and comfortable.

GEORGE SENIOR

Why didn’t you just live in the main house?

TOBIAS

I found it much easier to avoid the potential buyers in the attic.

CUT TO:

 INT. MODEL HOME-FOYER — DAY

SUPER: A MONTH EARLIER

A young married couple enters from the front door, looking around the house. At the same time a naked Tobias, fresh from the shower, is headed down the stairs, off to the right towards the kitchen. He walks in front of the couple who are stunned for a few seconds then…

YOUNG WOMAN

Oh my God!

NARRATOR (V.O.)

It was because of that incident Tobias returned to cut-offs

CUT TO:

 INT. MODEL HOME-ATTIC

SUPER: MINUTES LATER

Tobias enters the attic and opens a box of cut off jean pants he takes a pair out.

TOBIAS

Oh, thank god.

CUT BACK TO:

 INT. MODEL HOME-FOYER — NIGHT- CONTINUOUS

TOBIAS

Yeah, it’s best that I stay in the attic.

MICHAEL

Aren’t you concerned that someone might buy the house?

TOBIAS

I don’t think there’s a risk of that happening.

MICHAEL

Why, Because of the shoddy workmanship?

We hear a clatter from the living room area as something breaks. Everyone notices it but chooses to ignore it.

TOBIAS

No, because I plan to buy it.

MICHAEL

Do you have the money to buy it?

TOBIAS

No, but I thought maybe I could get a loan.

MICHAEL

From who?

TOBIAS

From the bank, I hear they’ll give a loan to anyone. If that doesn’t work maybe I can get a bailout from the president.

MICHAEL

The president of what?

 

TOBIAS

The Bluth Company, of course.

MICHAEL

You do know there no longer is a Bluth Company.

TOBIAS

Yeah, but I’m sure you have some money just lying around.

GEORGE SENIOR

There’s always money in the Banana Stand.

Everyone looks at George Senior

GEORGE SENIOR

I hid $2 million in the wall just in case.

TOBIAS

Maybe I can borrow some of that money?

MICHAEL

We’ll talk about it tomorrow.

 

Once again Michael picks up George Michael’s heavy suitcase.

GEORGE MICHAEL

Dad, I can get that.

MICHAEL

Oh, it’s no problem. Why don’t you get the rest of the bags?

George Michael reluctantly picks up the rest of the bags and him and Michael head up the stairs.

MICHAEL (CONT’D)

(To George Senior)

Are you coming?

GEORGE SENIOR

Yeah, in a few minutes

 

MICHAEL

(to Tobias)

Tobias?

TOBIAS

I think I’ll stay up for a little bit.

MICHAEL

Suit yourself.

Michael and George Michael exit followed soon after by George Senior

DISSOLVE TO:

To Be Continued…